You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i think my cat just said my name.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
