I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
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