Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
