The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
