she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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