i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
