Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
