I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
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I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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