Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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