Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
