Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
