Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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