Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
