Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
