just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
