we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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