Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize