He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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