hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
