Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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