Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i think i just lost a toe
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
