i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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