Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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