She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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