Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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