I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize