You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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