Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize