i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
