Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
