if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
