i don't like sucking hair
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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