The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
