Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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