and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
