I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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