D3 body, D1 cock
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's the barista slut.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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