Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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