These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
