I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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