Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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