Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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