Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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