So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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