The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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