Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I want a musical about memes.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
