the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I looked at my own cervix.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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