i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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