Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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