I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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