My brain says no but my pants say off.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
