yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize