Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
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I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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