Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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