I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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