I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
