I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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