I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
